gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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