I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
