we have officially lost it.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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