i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
