Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
