Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
