Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
