I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
