I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
