All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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