I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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