Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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