I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
