...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
