Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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