Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize