Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I wish I could punch you in the face.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
