He disabled his match.com account in front of me
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
