yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
how drunk are you?
Several
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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