I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
