Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
