I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
