she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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