You were right. It hurts to walk today.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
