love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I think my vagina is haunted
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
