There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
