Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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