It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
