I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize