Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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