Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
