If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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