Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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