If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
