Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
