the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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