I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Randomize
