drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize