I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
