You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
