I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
