he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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