Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Drake has all the answers
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
