I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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