Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Randomize
