Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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