Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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