Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
