used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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