I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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