i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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