he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
