Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
