is your mom at the bar?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So squirting runs in the family.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
