i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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