I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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