I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
