she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
