Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
