If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
