I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
