i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize