Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
