Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Sex in the backyard? Check.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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