I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
