I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
