dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
you never un-have a 4some
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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