Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
