your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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