Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
