adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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