therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
