Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
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