I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
